21. January 2014 · Comments Off on New Year DIY Ritual Phase 2: A New Start · Categories: Uncategorized


When life gets busy and demanding I find that my vision tends to shrinkfb sunrise 5b images

to match my time, energy and the practicalities. It sometimes takes me

a while to register that I need to open up to possibility again.

Here are some keys for a new start ritual:

1. Let yourself dream

– and really dream: visualise, feel, touch, smell, enjoy, taste what your happiest ways of being feel like. Let your body be absorbed with it, adding details, activities, scenarios that open up your life and relationships. Dream into how you want to be connecting with those in your life, new areas you want to expand your confidence into, abilities you want to develop. Let it all bring smiles to your face and don’t worry about letting practical considerations to be part of this first step.

2. Create a visual image of these things

– perhaps as a vision board, or maybe buy some new object, picture, image, poem or plant that symbolises the new and its possibilities. Put this in a key spot. Take your time to chose this and make sure it resonates with your deepest longings and wishes.

3. Create your ritual space again (see phase 2 below)

On a large piece of paper begin to prioritise in three ways:

a) Those things that are non-negotiable – you just have to have them in your life

These can include both your key responsibilities and those things that are truly lifesavers for you – e.g. walking daily, spending time with your partner, core ways of looking after your children, friends who play a big part in your life.

b) Things that will enhance your happiness and well being

While you are doing this, stay true to your needs so they don’t get swamped by the needs of others’, as this is so easily done. See this link for setting boundaries that respect and honour your needs. If you don’t prioritise your health and well being you are setting yourself up for over-tiredness, resentment and dissatisfaction – and not a new start!

c) Practicalities that must be factored in

In listing day-to-day management tasks, ask yourself where there is room for change in these:

Can you spend less time on something?

Can you find more efficient ways of doing another?

Can you ask for help or barter tasks with others?

Can you add in a simple fun or relaxation factor to one of these tasks? This is an easy shortcut to small but valuable moments well being. They add up and can make your day.

d) List your next steps in order, starting small and including life balance

As you do this, be aware of which part of you is prioritising this list. Sometimes at this stage a primary self can take over – a part of us that automatically runs our life, eg the Responsible Organiser. If this happens, we may soon feel stuck and restricted again and push needs aside that are not part of this self’s agenda. For example, being the organiser (of our own or others’ lives) can quickly take over our day and we simply run out of time for – well, everything else! For more on parts of ourselves that can be running us without our being fully aware of it see voice dialogue. This kind of life balance issue can be a huge challenge these days – but you are in charge!

  4. Begin each day, for a couple of minutes, with a quiet orientation time

First link in with those things for which you feel gratitude – small or large. Many people write a regular gratitude list of 5 things each day. Include things you are grateful for in yourself too – your skills, beliefs, qualities, the gifts you offer others and the ways you contribute.

Then look at your vision board or new start symbol and recreate that feeling of happiness it gives you.

From this quiet space, list your tasks, attitudes and orientation for the day ahead. You are starting the day with a feeling of well being, tuned into your own wisdom and needs and knowing how best to support yourself for the best possible day.

Even in very tough times, this daily time of orientation can add tremendously to your feeling supported in your life. Let yourself be fed by life – it is vast and rich: when we remember to look up from the tangle of problems, overwhelm and practicalities that can get us bogged down, we can find help, inspiration and strength to handle that moment and the next step ahead. Don’t give up – keep on looking if help doesn’t come immediately.

Don’t forget to ask for help and support in clear and practical ways in the areas where you are less strong. No man or woman is an island – allow the warmth of kindness from others to come in.

Spend time with those who support you and acknowledge your strengths.

Each day, and even each moment can be a new start.

You came here to be you. Honour and respect yourself and step into possibility.

31. December 2013 · Comments Off on DIY New Year Ritual for a Fresh Start · Categories: Self Help, Uncategorized

This New Year series offers ways to make sure 2014 is a positive, empowered ride for youfbSunrise 1a.

DIY New Year Ritual for a Fresh Start (just for yourself)

A ritual can be powerful. It declares an important decision within yourself, beginning now.

It is a way of communicating to all parts of yourself that you are ready for a change to take place and are also willing to embrace the ramifications of that. You get clear on what you intend to leave behind, and what you intend to invite and activate.This raises your awareness like a red alert to notice old habits when they arise, and new opportunities when they do.

You will need a private space and two objects that represent the old and the new. If you like candles, you can make a small ritual fire in a fireproof dish AWAY FROM THE FIRE ALARM! and use it to burn relevant pieces of paper, torn up small. But only if there is no bush fire danger, I hasten to say. Or use a rubbish bin. Surround yourself with anything that has meaning for you, that empowers you and supports you in believing in your potential for change.

You can just create your own private New Year ritual or use these key steps as guidelines:

PHASE 1. Completing and releasing the past. (If we are hanging onto the past with anxiety, resentment or shame, it is very hard to move forward).  fbsunrise1b images

1. First make a time to sit quietly where you won’t be interrupted. Turn off the phones and declare a time just for you (for some people this is the hardest part!)

2. Think about what worked for you last year and what didn’t. Begin with what didn’t, and make a decision about what you wish to leave behind. This could be a way of behaving, an attitude, a situation. Write it or them down on small pieces of paper.

3. Now take each piece one by one and really feel inside yourself to what it represents. These questions can help:

What is the story/memory/feelings that go with it?

What has been the cost to you of holding onto it?

What will be the gain if you let it go?

Are you really ready to let go? If you do let go, what are possible consequences and are you willing to handle them in a responsible way?

When you feel ready to let it go and leave it in the past, you release it, by tearing it up, burning it, discarding or destroying it in some way. Then take a moment to feel into the space that’s now there in its absence.

Do this with each one. You don’t have to let go of anything of course. Rather, use this moment to get clear as to how ready you are. It may not be the right time. There are no rules. It’s up to you.

When we decide to release the past it doesn’t mean all the feelings and behaviours (or people! ) disappear of course. But it does mean that when they arise, as they are likely to, we can see them from a new place in ourselves, and choose in that moment to act differently, according to the change we are wanting. Phase 2, to be posted soon, focuses on the new.

This is the time to remember to be patient with ourselves – change sometimes happens slowly.

PHASE 2: Welcoming the New, will be posted soon, but you can go from here and begin to focus on what you want to welcome, activate and embrace.