Too Busy? Moons and Junes and Getting Off Ferris Wheels
You may have heard of FOMO – the Fear Of Missing Out. More and more it’s a key force behind hooking us, seemingly without choice, into what we and everyone else seems to be doing with our days and nights. And besides whatever fear is running that, there are other parts of us that may be doing the ‘choosing’ – our pusher, pleaser, responsible self, perfectionist, dutiful self, guilty self…. My perfectionist, fondly known as The Tidier, finds it really hard to stop before tasks are finished. All tasks, all day! Even unsatisfactory relationships are part of her can’t-rest-until-it’s-sorted list. “I’ll just…….. ” Then of course as soon as one task is done, there’s another.
At night, I open the window and ask the moon to come and press its face against mine. Breathe into me. Close the language door and open the love window. The moon won’t use the door, only the window. – Jalal al-Din Rumi
All this takes precious time – your precious time.
Self care is a buzz word. Stress and burnout are so commonly talked about. But why not go a little deeper into your uniqueness and ask how your soul is going?
I’m not talking about being selfish and self-absorbed. I’m talking about doing what brings you to life and feeds your soul, as a friend of mine beautifully puts it. Recently thanks to a another friend (thank God for friends!), I found a great name for this: JOMO – the Joy Of Missing Out. I have noticed is that even a little bit of JOMO time goes a long way. It’s amazing to me how quickly joy and well-being return from wherever they went, when I decide to do those things that tend my soul.
Of course, when you return to the world of other activity, be it work, family, community, you are refreshed, empowered and enlivened and this spills over into your life and those around you. And!! it also often begins a significant shift in your own choice orientation, especially when you realise that the stars did not fall in your absence – or if some stars did fall, you picked them up and put them in your pocket or attended to them with renewed clarity and energy.
So – What feeds your soul?
- What is calling you from within, if only you had time i.e. if only you made the time?
- How can you negotiate, within yourself and your current commitments, to make the time?
- Is there a fear you need to overcome in order to do it?
- Is there an inner critic or responsible self that wants to stop you?
You may have to risk external and internal judgement in order to honour your soul this way.
But, what benefits and will it bring? If you have difficulty setting boundaries and saying No to others and Yes to these deeper more personal needs, this article offers a practical exercise to teach yourself step by step http://krishines.com/wp/setting-boundaries-six-steps-for-saying-no/
Joseph Campbell said that the last thing the Buddha had to detach from was duty. Perhaps there is room to inquire within your life as to where commitments that you care about, but which feel laden with duty, can be lightened or let go of, or perhaps nourished by some time out. By lightened, I mean can they be done with more lightness and pleasure and less must, have to, got to? Creativity and flexibility may be useful here
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Ok, you can’t see the moon here, but it just might be about to rise into this lovely, peaceful Coolum scene.
Thinking of our unique needs, I was recently blown away by a woman I know who quietly and persistently fought school policy so that her daughter could go on an overseas school trip without uploading everything that happened onto the trip Facebook page! “We don’t do Facebook,” she said, clear about what worked for her family. She wanted her daughter to be free to just enjoy the trip away – and share all about it when she got back! Like the olden days. And so it was.
Here are some links which may inspire on this theme of nourishing the soul.
With a non-dualist approach to becoming more aware of our spirituality, and which I find somehow embraces both the present and the beyond-the-present, Pamela Wilson offers some lovely talks and interviews on You Tube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q809ujdZhi4
Thomas Moore wrote a rich and deep book from a Jungian approach called Care of the Soul. Men friends of mine, particularly, have found his way of working very meaningful, although it really speaks to women too. Women are becoming a very yanged-up group, I think. http://thomasmooresoul.com/words/blog/
Wishing you happy, soulful and soul-filling times.
Copyright © 2017 Kris Hines – Living With Heart, All rights reserved.